Hi everyone! It’s single 35 yr old A-ko!
Have you guys ever heard of the term “婚活”(konkatsu) in Japan? It is directly translated as “matchmaking” in English.
It is an activity in which single women make great efforts to participate in, in order to find their ideal “marriage” partner.
There are several kinds of activities in which you can participate in to find your ideal marriage partner, but to name a few, these are:
婚活パーティー(Matchmaking Parties)、街コン(City-wide matchmaking parties)、お見合いパーティー(Set-up (arranged) meeting parties)、結婚相談所(Marriage consultants)、マッチングサイト(matching sites)、 etc.
There are several kinds of Matchmaking parties as well. It can range from sizes and events. For example: Cooking events for couples, Sports matchmaking events, interest matching parties, matchmaking bus tours, matchmaking BBQ parties, matchmaking based on work industry, etc.
These events are created from various angles, so people can participate in whichever method fits them best. While some people look for a partner based on income, others just want a chance to have a story-like romantic encounter.
Originally, the Japanese have a strong sense of protecting their homes. It was important for them, as a successor of their parents, to inherit the name, business,land and property.
While that way of thinking still exists, the idea of having “a home” has grown thinner than how it used to be. These days, people just want the idea of “marriage” and looks at it as something they must do when they are at the right age.
Moreover, in the recent years, the number of marriages have been decreasing to the point that people need “matchmaking”. The reason for this, I feel, is because women are moving up in society and are economically stable by themselves. Perhaps the natural instincts of people wanting to be together has weakened over the years.
As a symbol of that, new words like “carnivorous women” and “herbivore men” are born.
It is because this is a country that already has a mindset that men are strong and women are weak.
Another thing that has been increasing throughout the years is interracial marriages. Just as you walk down the streets of Tokyo, chances are there will be interracial couples around you.
Wedding concepts of each countries tend to differ so if you’re thinking about your future with your foreign partner, try looking up what weddings mean in other countries. This might help lessen frictions in your relationship.
For example, when I lived in a country somewhere in asia (because this is a personal opinion I will not mention which country exactly), I noticed that when you are dating someone it is presumed that you will marry this person. You can’t really date as freely, and once you become a couple, instead of building a stronger relationship with your partner, you will be involved in their family matters instead. While you and your partner are still at the dating phase,people around you will be asking when the marriage ceremony will be.
On the other hand, in a certain country in Europe, they are not dating to get married, but to become partners. Unless they are not in the same level of respect for each other, they will not be a couple. It is hard enough to find a good partner, it is even harder to look for someone who will want to actually marry.
In that country, half the couples don’t even bother registering themselves as married, they just stay as a couple and build a family around it.
Like I stated above, people have different values, but according to a country, the general idea of “marriage” has a tendency to differ.
What to you is marriage? Or being partners?
It is really interesting to learn about the general idea of marriage in different countries.
If you are interested, you should try joining a matchmaking party at least once.You’ll be able to have a sense of what marriage means to Japanese peple, and involve yourself in a different cutlure.
Well then, I’m off to go buy myself nice clothes for my next matchmaking party!
Have a nice weekend!!